This year, I am focused on growth and growing up i.e. becoming an adult.

I often find that many of us believe aging makes us adults. As a result of that belief, many of our wounds go untended. The truth is aging only makes us old. It does not make us adults. Even as we age, we spend years being angry at others for what they didn’t teach us, show us, and explain to us. We waste time being fearful of moving forward because the people in our past ridiculed, bullied and failed to uplift us. We act immaturely and inflict pain, upon ourselves and others, because we didn’t receive the love or attention we desired as child.

All these things are valid, however they cannot be an excuse or a crutch. Only you can be responsible for yourself in adulthood – for healing, for growing, for changing and for learning.

If we embrace that fact, we have the power to change our whole lives and the lives of others. Rather than letting our past define us, let’s embrace that power and celebrate the life that is in store as we heal.

On this journey, the following will be required:

1. Talk it out – How often do we share with people how we feel? Are we sharing those thoughts with the people who need to hear it? When we feel hurt, misunderstood or upset, do we share that with the person or people who made us feel that way? I can say that often I don’t because I am fearful of how they will respond. Sadly though, talking with others who are not involved only leads me to hold onto pent up aggression.

2. Be inquisitive – Of your parents, of your friends, of your co-workers. Understand who they are and where they come from. This can help us to have a realistic perception of our interactions. Sometimes, our past experiences skew the way we view people, their actions, and variety of other situations. Taking the time to understand why or how a person chooses to act or think can give us a newfound perspective and even allow us to heal.

3. Question everything – The way you act, the way you think, what you believe, what you eat, what you do for a living. EVERYTHING. Is your lifestyle the result of your pain and insecurities? Did you choose it or was it given to you? How will you embark on your own path?

4. Be introspective – Our actions don’t occur in a vaccum. Something led us to this point. It doesn’t have to be negative, but it does need to identified. How did you get where you are? Are you happy with where you are? What needs to change? How will you spur change in your life?

5. Love yourself and others for who they are – We must make peace with our past and embrace our relationships as they stand today. We must also learn to love ourselves, flaws and all, in order to show compassion for others as they grow, heal, and adult as well.

6. Let go – When we identify people, places, and things that cause us distress, we must let it go. The time is now not later.

What are your thoughts? How do you adult?

Que-so Goodbye,

Jessica